NaNo - Day 30, The End Of All Things... Not.

NaNo ends for me in less than an hour. I had no less minute stress, I accomplished what I set out to do. So instead, I played Halo and blew things up. Keeping the universe safe from alien scum and all that. It cleared my mind for getting back to writing and prepped me for the task of writing one of my last two battle scenes. Maybe it’s the ex-soldier in me, but I like battles in my fantasy. Mainly for the chance to explore the characters reactions to adversity.

I have one scene in my head, I'll write it out, but I'm not sure it will play out that way in the final draft. My characters have to go through this battle again and again until I get it right. Poor sods. Then again, that's what they're there for. They get to relive things I don't want to. They are also braver than I am for the most part. I think on one level I have to admire somethign in my characters to write them well.

I have no clear cut end in mind. I know what I'd like to happen, whether it turns out that way or not is a toss up. I don't like Disneyfied happy endings, but I don't like horrific ones either. I want my protagonist to have sacrificed something, but end up stronger for her loss. Not quite a Pyrrhic victory, but close. No growth without pain.

I can understand why Peter Jackson had so many endings in Return of the King, it's hard to let go and move on. Luckily, I have the other novel to work on while this one sits and ages. I'm thinking that's a good thing. My only fear is losing sense of the characters and having to spend time reintroducing myself to them again. Maybe not, after all, they are only multi-facets of the same character/theme I've been exploring for years. It even trails through my poetry. My voice, whether I like how it sounds or not.

Daily Distractions - Roaming the Web

To get back into the swing of non-NaNo posts, a link or two for your day. Since it's the end of the month, check out Death and Taxes which is a nifty graphic representation of where your tax dollars go. I love the disclaimer "Don't forget about the national debt! Its the circle so big it doesn't even fit in the box." Click on the View the Graph link at the bottom to see the poster in all its governmental goodness.

Want to take an Intro Philosophy Course but don't want to pay for it? (Your parents were right, it's kind of a money sucking unrealistic major) Bounce over to Lander U for the online text for Reading for Philosophical Inquiry. The text is in HTML, PDF or MP3 format. Brush up on your Critique of Pure Reason, Summa Theologica, or Nichomachean Ethics. Your brain will thank you.

If nothing else, the Astronomy Picture of the Day site provides great computer backgrounds. It also just has awe inspiring pics of space. Check out today's - The Pelican Nebula. Definitely story inspiring.

My favorite unknown comic strip, Unshelved. For the library/book geek in all of us. When you have time to waste, read the archives. Start at the beginning, you won't regret it. I would spring for a "Will Work For Books" T-shirt, but I don't want my boss to get the wrong idea.

Not sure how to knit that helmet liner/mace cover/lidless eye socks? (Scott) Get help HERE . (Scott) Then when you are ready, you can go for the eye socks . (Scott- Hey, just imagine them in blood red and orange, okay?)

What funky things have you found in YOUR travels?

NaNo – Day 29, Winter Gardening, Growing P's & Q's

The temptation to go back and begin editing is unbearable... but I'm resisting. I want everything down to The End before I do that. Since that was the goal I set myself, a complete rough draft, then that is what I'm stuck with. I find myself pondering twists and turns for the end while sitting in staff meetings or driving around town. I still have several options open and I'm trying to decide the path to take.

Of course, when I do go back and edit, I'll have to do some gardening. Plant a few seeds early on; cultivate, a tad of manure – not too much. Don't want to burn the poor plot. Or make it stink. I know I have more research to do. So far I've resisted the urge and just winged it. Haven't even allowed myself to go back, except for a quick read through of the previous day's material to jump start me.

Following the outline was easier than I thought. Now I'm suspicious. It can't work that well. The other side of my brain scolds me for resisting extensive outlining for so long. Now I'm unsure what to do with my half finished novel I set aside for NaNo. Go back and outline from the midpoint onward, or just plunge in and go for it? Either way, I'm going to have to tinker a bit. I would hate for the two halves to seem disconnected.

With Godhunter, I figured out how to punch up my bad guys, and how to make little cliffhanger endings for chapters. For that alone, it was worth doing. Also for giving myself the freedom to write pages of basically, "Did not", Did so"... A little more eloquently than that, but now I know I can go in and take the 2000 words of dialogue and prune them down to something more exciting.

Basically, when NaNo comes to a close tomorrow night, there will be no, "Stick a fork in it, its done" for me. I'm going to soldier on to the end, another 40,000 words or so, then stick it away for a while. My poetry has been neglected. Not too terribly, I still made all my November and December submissions, but I have big ones coming up I'd like to be able to concentrate on. Maybe an essay or two for good measure. Should be easier to get back into, when I jokingly told my boss I wanted to do some of my case notes in iambic pentameter or at least as a villanelle, she said...

"Go for it."

How does my writing garden grow? With help from friends, bosses, and a CD of Billy Collins poems that showed me you can have fun with your work, and still be serious. Well, as serious as I get.

NaNo - Day 28, Striking A Chord

I can tell when I've reached a turning point with the novel. I usually write with music in the background, instrumental; soundtracks, guitar, jazz, ethnic. Things without words. I got stuck in a loop for a while with the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, the Return of the King version. It seemed to go with what I was writing.

Today I was able to listen to music with words, and not have it distract me because I was into what I was writing. Things flowed. The characters leapt from my synapses, down my fingers, through the keyboard and onto the page. I was barely able to type fast enough to keep up. Its times like this that I have some hope that things are coming together.

One of the weirder things about writing to music is that sometimes when I'm editing, a section will have a musical association with it. I've run into this before, but with my art. I have a painting I did in college, many years ago. It's stored away, but when I move things around and pull it out, I know exactly which section was painting to which music. Of course it helps that I still listen to the same artists, but still... It makes you wonder how it all gets engraved into your brain like that. Or is it because the music has worn a groove into your mind, and it becomes a part of you, like your heartbeat or breathing?

The same holds true of characters. At first they have to be coaxed out of the mists, then they take form and become someone so real, you could see them the next aisle over in Wal-Mart any given day of the week. Of course, since mine mostly carry swords and shields, it might cause quite a stir. I think they'd enjoy leaving that kind of lasting impression on the populace. Like good music, character resonance never really fades. Maybe that explains the preponderance of ten book 'trilogies' and 40 pound sequels.

The Music
Lord of the Rings Soundtracks
Navan
Blackhawk Down Soundtrack
The Keeper Soundtrack
The Indulgers
Grey Larson & Andre Marchand
Bruce Cockburn
Wagner – Twilight of the Gods
David Bromberg
Dean Martin
Bollywood Tunes
Nusrat Fateh Ali Kahn
Dead Can Dance
Yo-Yo Ma

NaNo - Day 27, The Complete Antagonist's Guide To Evil Doing

Whenever I am at a loss for words, I turn to my bad guys. They are more than happy to blather on about their nefarious deeds. Of course, the antagonist isn't really bad. Bad would mean he did things for the sheer joy of being rotten. Not the General. He is busy deluding himself and those around him that if they would just listen to his plan, and put aside their prejudices; everything will work out for the best. He might even be right. His sidekick remains skeptical, however. You don't get to be the evil minion's right hand man by not having a good sense of self preservation. The plan seems plausible, so the sidekick will ride with it. For now.

The sidekick has also informed the antagonist that his unleashing of the Godhunter was probably a mistake. Without precautions in place, this creature they summoned could just run amok over the world. Says sidekick to antagonist, "You did put precautions in place, didn't you? You bound the demon to you with blood, didn't you? So it can be destroyed if need be? Didn't you?"

The silence was deafening, a second before the antagonist changed the subject and distracted the sidekick. Whoops. I hate it when an evil plan has loopholes you could drive a demon through.
Now the antagonist has a problem. How to control the uncontrollable. The only way he can see to do this, is to hope the god he sent the creature to destroy is strong enough to take it down. The antagonist gets busy with his checklists.

God destroys creature - good, but then I need to find another way to take out the god.
Creature destroys god - Good on one hand, but bad if the creature doesn't quietly return to the dark realm he came from.
Creature destroys god, and goes rampaging over earth - Very bad, because the rest of the gods may not feel inclined to help out.
God destroys creature and retreats to heavenly abode to contemplate his navel - Ideal scenario, but extremely unlikely.
God destroys creature and comes looking for whoever sent it - A lot more likely than it was 10 minutes ago.

Antagonist checks his hidey holes and realizes there is no place on earth to hide from a pissed god. That's when the antagonist activates Plan B. Hope the god kills the creature, then find a way to kill the god and take his place. The antagonist likes this scenario. He even has a way to make it plausible. If he can get his hands on a certain little girl, one alone in a strange kingdom without benefit of the protection of her parents -Kadi, the protagonist he wants to marry, and Dzaro, the god he'd really like to kill - things could work out. The child has just been elevated from inconvenient accessory to bargaining chip.

Cue bad guy hand-rubbing and evil cackle.

NaNo - Day 26, Choreographing The Ride Of The Valkyries, With Finger Puppets

I've been playing in the NaNo novel with character flaws, how to expose them without making the character out to be a total wuss, or without it looking like "Insert Flaw Here" school of writing. I'm finding out that some things I thought were attributes could also be a flaw in my characters. One main character is confident, self reliant, and insists his way is best. Often, he's right, but most of the other characters view him as arrogant.

Then I have to spend time pondering, is arrogance a flaw? If so, how can I exploit it? How can I use it to bring him down? What if the character doesn't really listen to those around him, because he is used to being right? What happens when he's wrong? Would he ever admit it? And to whom?

This is how I discovered the problem with my female protagonist. She has flaws, but most of them are due to age and inexperience. How to make her have a flaw that will figure into the book, color her interactions with the main character, and still keep her sympathetic? I decided she has built in sympathy from others; her child was kidnapped for nefarious purposes. They would understand the pain she is going through. The problem is she doesn't seem very pained by it. Then I realized her daughter is half divine. Still a child, still able to die, but somehow that has translated into the female protagonist having an underlying sense that it will all work out. After all, her child is part god, and has gotten out of scrapes before.

It's hard to write the mother's worry continuously; it would be a drag of a story, so I bought what this character is selling. She is confident her child is okay, because the father of the child keeps assuring her of that. When a god tells you not to worry, he must know things are okay. Right?

Hmm. I decided it was better to show the mother's worry in that one scene where she finds out her daughter is missing. This is where having kids comes in handy. I only have to recall the time one of them wandered away from me in a store and couldn't be found. Every worse case scenario, every horrid possibility ran through my mind in the 15 minutes it took to find him. Remember the alien in Alien that burst through the guy's chest? That's what it felt like. And when you get your child back? The child wasn't worried at all, he knew his mother would find and rescue him. Confidence is a nifty companion to guilt.

My female protagonist has lots to feel guilty about. She's hiding things from the child's father. She hides things from the man who promises to rescue her daughter in return for marriage. She does what she has to do to ensure the safe return of her child. Consequences of her actions? She's trying really hard not to think about them, because then she would be paralyzed into inaction. Her one goal at this time is to recover her daughter, after that, when reality crashes in, she'll deal with it. Or not.

Focus and determination. Are they attributes or flaws? Depends on where the character is standing when her world comes crashing down.

NaNo - Day 25, Whose Life Is It Anyways?

Today I discovered things about one of my bad guys I didn't know before. This isn't the antagonist, that nice but misguided bad guy who does what he does because he thinks he's right. This is the nasty bad guy, the Godhunter, whose sole purpose in life is to find and destroy any god it finds walking the mortal realm. There's a reason the Godhunters do what they do, and up until today, I wasn't sure what that reason was.

Now I am. Can't say that I like it, but it makes sense, in some sad, twisted, demonic sort of way. I also got the scoop on the gods who didn't exactly do good things, and were sent to the cosmic principal's office for it. I have to admit, I didn't want to talk to the evil one, not without my main character standing in back of me wearing his most menacing smile and a brace of swords. Pretty brave of him, considering he's on the Godhunter's hit list. Of course, he doesn't know that yet. I like to keep my characters in the dark. Not only does it make them crazy, but it provides me with insights to their personalities.

I have a character in my other novel that is mentioned frequently, but refuses to come forth and introduce herself. She also refuses to have much to do with her son, and I think the two are connected. If I don't know her, I can't get a handle on her to write about her. It makes for an interesting dilemma. Her son is as frustrated as I am by her recalcitrant nature. It's coming to a head though; she is going to play a key part in the ending. Maybe she just wants to make sure all eyes are on her when she does.

I'm fascinated by the relationships my characters have. Here is my chance to write the perfect relationship, or at least make things turn out right, and what happens? My characters make bad choices. They get stubborn. They refused to believe what's right before their eyes. They sleep with the wrong person, knowing full well they'll pay for it later. They sleep with the right person and don't let me watch.

In other words, they behave like people I know. It's always a bit frightening when your best laid plans get hijacked by people you're supposed to have under control. If you try and regain the upper hand by writing a death scene, the characters duck and dodge and sometimes metamorphose into someone else. On the other hand, I can't say much when they do that. Ultimately, isn't that what I'm all about? Making myself into other people, then writing about it? The bad part is when my characters seem to know more than I do about the story. I think they get together, plot on their own, throw wild parties, and don't invite me.

Ingrates.

NaNo - Day 23 & 24, Mistakes Were Made, Heads Will Roll

Yes, I did write yesterday, on Thanksgiving. I just didn't post. By the time I finished saving the world from alien invasion, it was time for pie and a movie. I made the mistake of putting Lord of the Rings on. Watching all three movies is a new family tradition. By the time we got to Return of the King, we were naming the Orcs and giving them hobbies.

My characters didn't get the day off on Thanksgiving. My female protagonist and her god/lover reached the city where their kidnapped daughter was rumored to be. They ran around the city trying to get a name to go with the description of the man who has their daughter. It took them a while. I tried to play it as if I were in a strange town and wanting information. How would I get it? The good thing about being a god is that you have coinage. Lots of it. Nothing like bribery to loosen lips.

The caveat to all this is that my earth walking god has to be very careful not to draw the wrong kind of attention to himself. In mortal form, he is a bit vulnerable. A foreign mage, or god forbid, foreign god who discovers him in their territory, practicing magic or doing god deeds... let's just say it could end badly. The local god will be powerful. If my god is lucky, the local gods aren't paying to much attention to one city in their domain. Magic drifts about, little acts won't get their interest. Foreign mages know to exercise restraint when out of their kingdom. Same idea, little acts don't warrant their concern.

Too bad my god didn't stick to the low profile thing. When Dzaro and Kadi find out the man who has their child is traveling to another city, a city with some ominous implications for their daughter, Dzaro does the very thing he shouldn't have done. He uses his divine abilities to conjure and create something that shouldn't be in this city. It gets noticed. Local mages investigate. Demons get interested. And remember the Godhunter the antagonist unleashed in a previous chapter? Uh huh. He is drawn towards our hapless heroes like dogs to a running can opener at dinner time.

When they start chasing the trail of their daughter, they were the pursuers. Now they are caught in the middle, having to evade demons, mages, and the Godhunter while trying to reach the next city before the man dumps their daughter off in the worst possible place. Who does a god pray to when he needs help? Before leaving his own kingdom, Dzaro attempted to negotiate a safe passage of sorts with the gods of other kingdoms. How long will his amnesty last before the other gods tire of his rule bending? How do you keep your family safe when it seems like everyone between heaven and hell is out to get you? If your lucky, you have friends. Lots of them. BUt when they are the four legged kind, will it be of any help?

NaNo – Day 22, Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

(Courtesy of The Godhunter, another episode of "Bad Poetry Playhouse".)


Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving


It was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house,
My characters were roaming and one did espouse:
"I've not got much book time and it leaves me quite vexed,
"My plot-addled author sure must be perplexed.

"She's let a thin subplot move to the fore,
"And turned my fine speeches to words I abhor.
"I'm vain and long winded, arrogant and callow,
"And by the next chapter a whiny marshmallow,

"I fear my dear author is not on the level.
"She's trotted out monsters and demons and devils.
"Gave me a girlfriend and forbid we have sex.
"Told us the conclusion was much too complex,

"For our little minds to worry and fret—
"As if our capacity were floppy diskette.
"I'm a full grown creation, I demand all my rights!
"I implore all like brethren to remedy my plights.

"Hey! Don't turn your backs and pretend not to see me.
"Because very soon you could also just be me.
"I'm divine, there's no call to treat me this way.
"You know what they say, every god has his day...

"Ms. Writer if you know the path to pursue,
"Give me my page time that's long overdue,
"I'm a god I tell you! So show some respect.
"What? You're killing me off? No wait, I object!"

The author she sprang from her chair with a laugh
Said "I just figured how to boost my word count by half
"I'll torture this character with no real misgiving,
"And that's what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving."

NaNo – Day 21, Backstroking Through Uncharted Waters

The good part was hitting 50,000. The scary part was realizing I'm only about halfway into the story. With nine days left, I'm going to see if I can keep hitting my @2000 words a day pace. I want to finish the story, now that I have the idea of how to shut Bob the Internal Editor down. I'm hoping to work through my outline and complete the novel, then set it aside and go back to The Gate To Paradise. Those characters have been politely waiting their turn. Well, maybe not so politely. I have a cast of dozens breathing down the back of my neck as I write. And they really need to brush more often.

The cast for The Godhunter is much more limited than that of Gate. I don't know if that was from necessity or that it just worked out that way. The plot is also less dense than Gate, but that's okay. Godhunter is a more straightforward story. That was a big help in outlining. In both stories, I knew where the protagonist started, and I knew where I wanted he/she to end up, the difference is, in the simpler story, the change is a much lesser degree than in the complicated plot. No one does a 180 degree turn around, but character realizations are more complex in Gate.

My antagonist in The Godhunter didn't come into his own until the past few days. A few scenes I wrote with him alerted me to a few peculiarities of the character. His desires are a little more complicated than I gave him credit for, and he's convinced what he is doing is the right thing. It is the right thing... just maybe not for this moment in time. But since he is wearing his villain colored glasses, he can't really see that.

The female protagonist in the story is much more contrary than I planned on. She harasses and snarks at the main character far too much for my comfort. I need to discover her motivation and make it clear, or she'll just come off a bitch. I stumbled across a clue when I posted an excerpt the other night. Now I have to work backwards to figure out how the incident effected her actions, and then work forward to make sure everything syncs. I like doing that part of editing the story, but alas, I'm not allowed to. Not yet.

The rules I set myself said no going backwards, only forwards. It should make editing interesting when I finally get to it. Hopefully the skills I learned in doing NaNo will pay off in more time to tinker, and less time smoothing sentences when I should be charging ahead. Since I sent Bob out for pizza and beer two days ago and he hasn't come back, maybe I can get another big chunk done before he notices the credit card expires at the end of the month, and no more free beer. I'm sure he'll be back with a vengeance then.

NaNo – Day 20, Laying Tracks Around The Periphery

So far I've been following my outline. Sort of. It's in a rough order of how I thought the action should progress. I've jumped around a few times when what I was writing didn't want to stop at the point I designated. When I was in Kadi and Dzaro's scene, their discussion/argument wanted to be continued on, so the next day I picked up where I left off with them instead of switching over to Gethel's POV. I also got abrainstorm for a scene in the antagonist's POV that wasn't in the outline at all, so I added it in, wrote it, then went from there.

Interesting things, outlines. It helped me plan out the novel, but now that I'm actually writing it, I see where some of my gaping plot holes are. I'm wondering how I will approach the next draft of this novel. The one I set aside to work on this had a very rough outline at best. I was in the process of muddling through the middle when I put it aside to write my NaNo novel. I know where I want to be towards the end, what needs to be set up, but the actually writing to get there was far harder than I anticipated. I suffer from linearitis. I have a hard time jumping ahead to write the end, I'm much more comfortable progressing in a more or less straightforward manner. The one time I tried to bypass this instinct, it made me so uneasy that I've never done it again.

I found another good tool recently. I send chapters out to a round robin critique group (Hi, KC), and decided since 6 weeks elapses between chapters, that some sort of summary was in order. Being forced to read a chapter analytically and produce a several sentence summation did wonders for my outlining ability. Hit the high points and move on. Before I got bogged down in minutia, now I sketch the action, catalyst, and result and call it good. For me, taking those three sentence summaries and opening them into six or twelve sentence summations helped immensely.

My writing got easier without my poor brain trying to do the outlining while writing dialogue. I'm all for easy ways out, and the more I can immerse myself in my characters and leave the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain pulling the levers; the faster I seem to write. Of course, some of the dialogue is fairly cheesy. That's why I'm not allowing myself to go back. On this quest, looking behind means being captured by the Control Monster, you know, the one that works with Bob the Internal Editor in their never ending plot to derail my writing choo-choo. I think I got them beat this time, 'cause they're running down the tracks behind me. Throw another shovelful of rambling on the fire, plot gerbils. I'm headed for the station.

NaNo - Day 19, Of Tigers And Men: Godhunter Excerpt

The Godhunter (Excerpt)

Kadi awoke alone, and fought the surge of panic that took her. When she got herself under control she sat up and rubbed her eyes, then let out a soft groan at the pain the movement cost her. Riding a llarmal for marks on end had its price. Every muscle made its displeasure known. She glanced around the small tent. She barely made it into the shelter last night, pulled off her boots and fell asleep. Kadi had a vague recollection of Dzaro holding her, but there was no sign of him. Again the panic came and she quelled it before it could grow, forced her sore muscles to move and pulled on boots, then the quilted coat and hat. She ducked cautiously out of the tent flap and stopped at the sight that met her eyes. Dawn barely split the horizon in shades of pink and gold, but Dzaro stood in a clear section of the tiny meadow and practiced with his swords. He wore only the quilted trousers and a light silk top. A pile of armor rested in a heap nearby. The llarmals were arrayed in a semi circle around him, interest on their long faces, ears cocked forward as they watched. To Kadi's shock, two full grown tigers lounged alongside the llarmals and watched Dzaro also.

Kadi envied the sheer beauty of the man as he spun, turned, and made the slash of twin swords look utterly graceful. His movements were almost silent, broken only by the sounds the blades made slicing through the air. Kadi noticed a slight hitch in his timing when he used his left side and twisted. It gave her perverse satisfaction that at least he felt some pain from his injuries, especially since her muscles twinged in protest at the slightest movement. When Dzaro brought the intricate movements to a stop he wasn't even breathing hard although Kadi noticed a slight sheen of sweat on his upper lip. Dzaro gave her a slight smile and sheathed the swords in a practiced movement.

"I trust I didn't wake you," he said.

"No, you were very quiet. Are you that quiet when you kill people?"

Dzaro wiped a hand over his face before he answered. "War is a messy business, Kadi."

"You told me you were a soldier. Before. Do you miss it?"

"No." Dzaro walked over and frowned down at Kadi. "Not really."

"But it must be hard," Kadi continued, "to be a warrior with no war, no slaughter, no death."

He winced. "I am not bloodthirsty, Kadi, my dear. Most soldiers would rather not kill if they had a choice."

"Don't call me dear," Kadi replied automatically. She stared up at him. Despite the soft gleam in his eyes, he was a powerful man, trained to kill without a second thought. Mage, warrior, god. Which was the real Dzaro? He looked like any other soldier his age, a bit worn around the edges with a weary set to his shoulders. But how many other soldiers were accompanied by two full grown tigers? The felines stared back as Kadi's gaze darted to them. They yawned, revealing the huge fangs and very pink tongues. Could they read her mind? Kadi shivered. When Dzaro was a tiger, his broad head came far above her waist. One sweep of a flexible tail could knock her from her tracks. Were these tigers or men in tiger guise?

Dzaro took a step forward and reached out to run a finger through her hair. "Fear them not, Kadi dearest. The tigers will protect you. As will I."

"And Jibril?" Kadi felt tears sting her eyes. She wiped them hastily with the sleeve of her sherwani.

"I would give my life for her," Dzaro replied.

Kadi stared at him, mind racing. "Can gods die?" she asked abruptly.

He didn't answer for the longest time and Kadi thought he would ignore the question, but instead Dzaro ran a hand over his face, fingered the swords at his waist, then looked her in the eye. "Yes. In a manner of speaking."

"How?"

"Many ways, Kadi, my love, not that any of them are easy. What you think of as death, and what gods think of as death are different things. Why, did you have plans to kill me?"

"I used to."

"But?"

"But I need you to find Jibril. And I'm not sure I'm capable of killing anyone, let alone a god." Kadi studied him, eyes flicking up and down the length of his body. "What happens when you kill a god? Do you just explode, into light? Or do you just quit breathing like us mortals? You bleed, so I highly doubt you are a god. I think you're just an arrogant mage."

"Ah, Kadi... you are still angry with me? After all this time?"

"You raped me, Dzaro. Or have you conveniently forgotten that fact?"

NaNo – Day 18, Store-bought Peeves And Bad Guys With Library Cards

Today my antagonist went to the library. No, really. I was pondering how to get him some information, without relying on conveniently placed informants. Not to mention there is some knowledge that isn’t just lying around. Well, actually it is, but it's lying around in the library. Why wouldn't my fantasy world have a library? Books, maps, writing utensils, all the luxuries that make plotting just a bit easier. We're not primitives for the Gods sakes.

My pet peeve with some people is their attitude that everyone before 1950 was stupid, and humanity just barely survived until the invention of cell phones and microwaves. Every time I read about ancient engineering I want to go find the cultural ostriches and smack them around a bit. Roman toilet, sewer, and bath systems serve as role models for my fantasy worlds. If my characters get the chance to bathe, they take it. Public baths with latrine facilities in the bigger towns. Hey, if the Romans could be fastidious, so can my characters.

A lot of fantasy seems to be set in medieval times where bathing was a symptom of the devil, and people just scraped mold off their food and ate it. I think my culture is an extension from the Romans, if they had just kept chugging along and hadn't collapsed in a quivering heap when Christianity ran amok.

I read all these 'pet peeve' lists on fantasy boards and have to wonder about the people who post them. I am not interested in reading about some stable mucker or kitchen drudge unless they have something else going for them, like being the bastard son of a king, which makes everybody scream 'cliché!'. Honestly, how would some uneducated slob with no money or prospects be able to save/rescue/remodel his village, let alone his/her kingdom or the world? I want to read about people who are intelligent, and driven to make a change, whether it be for personal reasons or to save the world, clichéd or not. The characters who would rather die for a cause then turn tail and run home to live out their days saying, "I could have been a contender, but..."

The antagonist is a learned man. He has his culture's version of a bible; he reads history and studies past battles and the journals of soldiers to learn more about his craft. I also wanted him to have to work a bit to gain his intel, instead of having it handed to him by a spy. Of course, written words are open to interpretation, especially ancient versions of religious texts. I can't help it if in his arrogance... he misinterprets a few things.

NaNo – Day 17, Philosophy 299: Writing The Incoherent Ramble For Undergraduates

While fumbling about for the basis of a religion for my gods, I had difficulty deciding what attributes they would embrace, let alone what form a religion would take for my mortal characters. I'm not as worried about it during NaNo, this is the time to get the ideas out there on paper. Fine tuning can come later. Reading back through what has already been written; I'm finding that it may not be as difficult as I think. The subconscious does a good job of putting some tissue paper layers around the ideas. That hides them from casual observation, but not hard exploration. My later job is to tear through the wrappings and get to the core.

Interestingly enough, I see bits of Buddhism, a hint of Hinduism, and a core of Catholicism in the religion of my characters. Not surprising, since they are all religions I have studied. I started with mythology and the Greek gods, and that idea mutated on me. The Greek religion had a pantheon with twelve principal deities, each overseeing an area of importance. To me the relationship of worshipers to the Greek gods was based on bribery. 'Worship me, give me gifts, and maybe I won't smite your ass' seemed to be the prevailing theme. In my stories the ones that give without expectation of reward are more apt to win the god's favor than those who suck up.

My characters brought up the idea of 'sacred words'. I hadn't gotten to the idea of a 'Bible' for the religion yet. In one context the sacred words are used to refer to a book or collection of writings, in another it is something quoted, like a parable to help another person understand. My dilemma has come down to this - Do the gods in my novels know the intentions of their worshipers? If so, then a final judgment is not needed to enter Paradise. If not, then the gods have truly given their subjects free will and can just muddy the waters with their interference. Things I need to have straight in my head before I enter a final draft stage.

I suddenly realized while doing today's NaNo writing that it is the gods, not the mortals in my book who are walking the eightfold path. In the previous novel, the four noble truths are an underpinning of the story. I'm sure more religions are in my mental blender and being pureed into the story. After all, the stories are an exploration for me as well as the reader. The drawback is, if I want to write about religion and man's relationship to the gods, then I better find a way to make it entertaining while I do so.

It's like the first day of class in Intro Philosophy. When I ask what some of the big questions in life are, everyone knows them, they just hadn't gotten around to exploring them in any coherent form. They needed direction to get started. So maybe all this writing is just an extension of studying Plato and Socrates. Maybe it's a jumble of Euthyphro, The Apology, and Crito and religion has nothing to do with it. Maybe I should just write, and do my reasoning later on.

"The unexamined life is not worth living."

NaNo – Day 16, Generations In The Warplace

I spend a great deal of my working day listening to war stories. Literal war stories from veterans who fought in World War II, Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf Wars and Iraq. It's not only that I get paid to listen; the story and the process of telling the story are a fascinating study of variations in narrative building. Generational differences are obvious. A World War II veteran remembers everything, and his story has a definite beginning, middle, and end. Every detail from induction to what kind of food they served on a destroyer is engraved in his memory. It is all relayed in a matter of fact way.

The Vietnam era vets I talk with are very closed mouthed. The details they give are narrowly focused, and usually emotion laden. When they speak of a particular smell, sometimes their eyes glaze over and you know they are reliving it. Although reluctant to speak openly, the story they tell is colored with sensations. They are masters at sketching the detail with a few, carefully chosen words.

The vets returning from the Middle East are not afraid to speak their minds. They are blunt and almost as matter of fact as their grandfathers, but there is also a tinge of awe to their stories. A sort of 'I was there and did that, but it was all like a game. Sometimes I think it wasn't real.' The ones that are eager to talk of their experiences talk and talk as if trying to achieve catharsis by reexamining the minutia of their tour. They have all the details of a World War II veteran, but none of the natural storytelling ability. There is no beginning, middle, and end, just a steady stream of seemingly unrelated images.

When writing characters, it's good to remember the differences between the types. My male antagonist is squarely in the WWII veteran camp. He gives great thought to what he does, how to present it, and when to add detail for effect. My male god is similar to the Vietnam vets. He has been so scared by his past, he is reluctant to speak of it for fear the emotions will rise up and consume him. My male secondary character floats through life rehashing his experiences and trying to figure out what turn in the path he missed that messed up his life and brought him to this point.

Female veterans and the wives of veterans fall into a different category altogether. They are so used to erecting protective barriers, that it is reflexive to wear a mask. The military is still a boy's playground and the women who dig in the sandbox are very much aware that they don't really belong, no matter how they act. If only they could recapture the female goddess in themselves, they could be strong in a way that fit them. My female protagonist is still trying on other people's skins. How she should act as daughter, mother, warrior, lover. To her, all the personas are separate. She needs to learn to integrate her many strengths into one. It may be the only thing that saves her daughter and the kingdom from disaster.

NaNo - Day 15, Thunderbolts From Olympus, Delivered Parcel Post

According to my magically possessed, super duper spectacular outline, I should be on chapter six and the three scenes therein. Problem is, chapter five spread its tentacles and refused to go down without a fight. A scene that is a paragraph in the outline mutated into pages and pages in the actual writing. Most of the writing was to jell the idea in my mind of the god's past, how he came to be a god, the events leading up to it, and why those events might cause complications for his daughter.

Instead of coming right out and saying things, the character told a long story, beat around the bush, and generally tried his best to avoid saying much of anything important. Under the judicious questioning of the female protagonist, he slipped up and let spill a few things he should have kept to himself. He is so worried about what might happen, that he can't be happy in the here and now. The female protag rightly gets to the heart of the matter. The god can't ask for help. Or directions. *g* He wants to solve his problems all by himself, because he is so wrapped up in them he can't see beyond himself. The god cannot trust.

Much as people grow and change in their lifetime, the gods of my novels must pass through stages before they can journey onward. They must slowly disengage from the mortal realm while interacting with mortals. Some have a tough time letting go. Others choose not to, likening the power too much to change their status.

That was my favorite part of Greek mythology, how the gods mirrored the mortals with all their petty squabbles and backstabbing. Even Zeus was not a paragon of success as a god. Is it a depressing thought, that even those who achieve god-like status still have to struggle to overcome their baser ambitions? Maybe instead it's the thought that these gods are not to different from us, and therefore accessible that intrigues me. I'm edging my way towards another story, but it hasn't finished percolating yet. NaNo has been good for the experience of non self-censoring, and just writing. Hopefully the lesson will carry over into new material, and the other book that is probably stuck... but I won't admit it.

NaNo – Day 14, A Day Of Enjambment

I haven't allowed myself to read anything in the fantasy genre since I started my NaNo novel. Trying to avoid any influences, but also trying to see if channeling all that energy I put into reading can go into my own writing. The answer is... I'm not sure. I tend to read mostly non-fiction when I am writing, partially for research, partially to keep the thoughts in my head separate. I haven't been tempted to pick up any current genre works as I have been wanting to pull the Iliad off the shelf. I have a copy of Virgil's Aeneid in the back seat of my car, along with Maurice's Strategikon.

I can excuse Iliad and Aeneid as poetry research on heroic hexameter, but Strategikon? It ties so neatly into the book I set aside writing during NaNo, I would suspect character hijinks. I guess even while I'm working on Godhunter, my mind is playing with my other story. Since I was worrying about the ending when I was only in the middle, I guess it makes sense. That or the guilt over neglecting my poetry is boiling up. I'm behind in submissions, and have a ream of poems ready to edit, but here I am plugging away at NaNo.

Since NaNoWriMo it is about halfway done, I'm trying real hard not to sabotage myself. I fear the ideas that seem to spawn while working on other projects will dissipate if not given proper attention. It's like when I'm about to fall asleep, or when I'm driving to work and think of a nifty line or stanza for a poem. It is so good, so crystal clear that I'm convinced I'll remember it in the morning, or long enough to write it down. After all, if something is that good, it should be etched into our brains, shouldn't it? Anyone?

Apparently I only have the capacity for one nifty idea at a time. Great poem line or Proper lane change. My choice. The only remedy I can come up with is to stop feeding the muse, to stop reading anything of interest until I finish what I'm working on. Then again, I seem to work better in a state of utter panic and over stimulation. Remnants of those college all nighters? Who knows. Maybe taking a break and reading something else would be good for me. As long as I don't turn around to see all my characters arrayed behind me with pitiful expressions and a 'woe is me' air. Or, to be on the safe side, I have an audiobook of the Iliad read by a poet. In Greek. Which I don't speak. But the rhythm is there, a long, beautifully flowing narrative, lurking just beneath the surface. Sometimes that's all that matters.

NaNo - Day 13, Wear Your Hip Boots, It's Time To Fertilize

About this time I've realized I can write the required daily minimum (1677 words) without a lot of problems. According to my calculations, I'm still in the first third of the book, which means if I keep things up like this, it will end up at 120,000 words. Yikes. Then again, I have Bob the Editor leaning over my shoulder screaming "cut that sentence, that paragraph is crap, you call yourself a novelist? Drivelist, that's what I call you..." About then is where I clamp my headphones on, pull up iTunes, and drown out his sorry ass.

If I put together all the posts I make on blogs and boards during the week, and all the email round robin arguments... ahem, discussions I get into, I should be able to write 3500 words a day. But that writing is different, its interactive, there are people outside myself giving me nudges and hints and directions to take the conversation. I'm free to be a smartass (imagine that) or wax philosophical. (Pontification was a required course in grad school.)

In the story, I'm forced to focus, to concentrate on the scene I assigned myself in the outline. And you know what? It's not so bad. I'm learning to be a lot more disciplined. I'm learning that I can write on a topic/scene and get something useful out of it, even if the scene will likely be cut later on. I'm thinking more about conflicts, and how to punch up a scene. What information needs to be in there and what can be sprinkled on like parmesan on pasta.

Soon I will be in uncharted territory, though. I've been trying to imagine the next day's scene when I go to bed at night, to walk through it and ponder the implications of telling it one way or another. Up until this point, I was sure of the groundwork I'd laid out. Now new possibilities are opening up, and I am sorely tempted to play with them, or at least toss a bone in their direction. Since my POV's are set, playing with newer ideas would mean some manipulation of the characters. With Bob cupping his hands to his mouth and yelling "Stay the Course" it's really hard to concentrate. My characters are arrogant, stubborn, deceitful, timid, brash and innocent. I want arrogance taken down a peg (Thanks, Carla), stubbornness to bend, deceitfulness to get her comeuppance, and the rest to step outside of their comfort zones... I say what the hell. If I have to grow, then so do they.

NaNo – Day 12, Truth, Justice, and Aw, Crap...Playing By The Rules.

As if to balance out the full tilt dialogue that came before, today's writing concentrated on description. Usually I write and put a gesture or two in for the characters, maybe a line of description then come back later and backfill (hey, it's an engineering thing...). Today I felt like proceeding at a more leisurely pace. I have creatures in my novel called llarmals, they are a hybrid, a cross between llamas and camels. I needed to get their actions and features set in my mind.

Llarmals figure prominently in the story, they function as riding animals and beasts of burden. In my previous book, the people preferred horses to llarmals. To each their own. Whichever creature I use I want it to have personality without delving into cuteness. I've had horses with more personality than some people I know, and I'd like that to show. I'd also like to reflect on the times when animals were an integral part of our daily lives.

The interconnectedness of man (and woman) with the natural world is something that lurks beneath the surface in my stories. A dash of magic, some animals and a quest, and I'm happy. I'm still attempting to figure out what it is about the nature of magic – and the gods – that attracts me to write about them. I think I can explain away the gods part, growing up Catholic and reading mythology at the same time is bound to form a nifty compost pile for story ideas.

I've also discovered that having magic doesn't make things easier for my protagonists; it usually makes their lives miserable. As the warrior tells my female protagonist in the Godhunter, "Even Gods have rules they must abide by." And no, before you ask, they aren't "more like guidelines". Rules are rules, even for the mighty. How else would they end up in the complicated pickles they do? If you're a hero, sometimes being honorable can be a cotton-pickin' pain in the arse.

NaNo- Day 11, Llarmals and Tigers and Demons, Oh My!

The Godhunter – Excerpt

A strange sound penetrated Gethel's daze. He yanked on the reins and Kotmu's head came up with a snap. The pack llarmals slogged to a stop, heads held high on the top of their long necks. Kotmu let out a long suffering groan and he shushed her. "Enough! Listen." Kotmu's fur lined ears swiveled forward and her head swung to the right. Gethel wasn't crazy. Kotmu heard it too.

Somewhere ahead, a child screamed.

The pack llarmals blew out breaths and made soft chirrups. They were nervous, but not panicked. Gethel shoved the hood off his head and listened.

The scream came again, high pitched and terrified. It was definitely a child. Gethel looked at the pack llarmals with their heavy panniers then made a quick decision. He pulled the ring that held their leadropes from his back saddlering, attached a dragweight and let it drop to the ground. The llarmals would stay put, he hoped.

Gethel kicked Kotmu repeatedly until she got the idea to run. It took a few strides for the big llarmal to get herself untracked, the broad leathery feet dug in and they plunged down the trail at a hard gallop. He'd forgotten how fast a full-grown riding llarmal could go. They entered the side of the meadow and were halfway through before Kotmu skidded to a halt, ears pinned forward. Between his knees Gethel felt her stringy muscles tense for flight as she blew a long snort of breath that clouded in the chill air.

At first Gethel didn't see what scared the normally complacent llarmal. A scream came again, desperate now, and his eyes flicked to the source. Sprawled on the ground were a man and a woman, both dressed in fine silken robes and sprawled in a most undignified manner. A child tugged at the arm of the man, then the woman. The figures made no response. Gethel got a bad feeling about exactly what was wrong with them. The child dropped the man’s arm and screamed again then ran back and forth near the tree line, swinging his arms at what looked like pieces of cloud and attempting to disperse it. The child gave up and moved towards a section of meadow where the landscape shimmered with what looked to be a door, set in the middle of nowhere. The garden scene within the doorframe shivered and rippled like water after a rock disturbed the surface. Around one edge a thick, grey mist billowed. Black smoke poured from the other side. As Gethel clung to Kotmu's reins the two vapors coalesced into a man-like shape, with bulging muscles and a wisp of trailing smoke where the legs should be. Its face was a terrifying mix of man and haze, polished horn and ember-bright eyes. It roared a sound of fire crackling through a dry forest.

It was a ghul. A demon.

NaNo- Day 10, Wheels in Motion

From this point forward there is no turning back for my characters. Deeds have been done, schemes put into action, oaths taken. The antagonist massages his manipulations and adds another layer. He has a partner in his deceit, and isn't sure the two of them have the same agenda. Being a good antagonist, he does the proper thing. He goes behind his partner's back and does a little scheming on the side.

In his arrogance, he figures he can handle the consequences of what he is about to do. At least his partner would have known enough to be scared. The antagonist is about to conjure a Godhunter and set it loose in the world. Unfortunately, godhunters are not bloodhounds - just give them the scent and turn them loose. That's what the antagonist thinks he is doing. Godhunters are single-minded destroyers of deities. Problem is, they aren’t real choosy. In their little pea brains, the only solution is kill all the gods you can get your grubby hands on. After all, that is their Raison D'être.

The god that is the object of all this virulence is unaware of the plot against him. He is about to do something extremely stupid. Walk among mortals as one of them. In mortal form he takes on the vulnerabilities of the species. He couldn't have made it any easier for the godhunter if he had himself giftwrapped and delivered by FedEx.

Then again, godhunters aren't the only ones out to get him. Demons want a piece of him, too, and oh, the dark god that he banished to the furthest plane? He's on his way back and pissed. The antagonist is sending soldiers to take his daughter away, a ship with a prophet aboard sails into the middle of the fray, and the lives of hundreds of innocent people are on the frontlines as all these factions meet up at the same location.

If my god character doesn't show up to work tomorrow, I'll understand why.

NaNo – Day 9 Walking a Tightrope, Sword in Hand

The scene has been set, the problem introduced, what's left for the protagonists? Why, upping the ante of course. Sure, the two protagonists each have a rather weighty problem on their hands, but since when has one problem ever been enough?

It's an interesting balance trying to pile on the angst without perturbing the reader. On one hand you want to generate sympathy for the protagonist, on the other, you want them constantly on the verge of losing control. It has to be real without being over the top. I've thrown a few books across the room for making unbelievable leaps of logic.

In response, I spend a lot of time puzzling out whether the actions of the protagonist are reasonable under the circumstances. If not, then I need to make them plausible for the reader. If my protagonist is not an expert rider or of the military, riding a camel for days on end is bound to make her sore and cranky. I need to build that into the narrative. Plausibility. Can she learn to wield a sword with reasonable skill in a few months? I know I can look mighty pretty doing sword kata in karate, but if forced to use a sword for defense? For real? I'm screwed.

What's realistic for the character? Depends on the boundaries you set from the beginning. If I make my protagonist fairly athletic, smart, and driven, I could reasonably expect her to be able to wield a light sword long enough to inflict some damage. Not much, maybe enough to allow her time for what's really important. Running away. Living to fight another day. The problem with that is, protagonists are horribly short sighted. When the goal is within reach they tend to drive forward, practicalities be damned. Which is why, in a fair fight, you bet on the villain. All things being equal, antagonists have one advantage on their side the protagonist always forgets about and the writer would do well to remember.

They cheat.

NaNo - Day 8, And The Little Children Shall Annoy Them

I'm not a big fan of little kids in fantasy or science fiction for that matter; they often come off as unrealistic or cloying. So naturally I end up with a small child in this book. My mission is to make her realistic without being overly annoying – to me. On the other hand, most little kids can be very bothersome, especially to those who are unfamiliar with the breed. I decided if I had a child in my book I would inflict her on the least likely character to handle it well. An apprentice ropemaker just trying to return to his guildhall and get his next assignment. Unfortunately, fate has other plans in store for him. Like saving a child from demons.

In The Godhunter, a woman's small daughter is kidnapped/stolen/intentionally lost by the manipulative factions I spoke of in the previous post. I debated having the child remain an invisible character, but two things happened. The chance to torture the ropemaker secondary character, and the child. She developed a voice and presence of her own and demanded inclusion. She didn't demand a POV role, which is good. I don’t think I could carry the POV of a child for long at this point. She is not a main character although part of the story revolves around her. Of course, when she is on stage, like all little kids, she wants to be the center of attention. When your father is a god, and you don't get attention, well, let's just say your demands can border on magical blackmail.

For some characters in the book, the child is a means to an end, for others, she is a goal. For the mother of the child, she is a look into the abyss. How far will she go to save the life of her child? How far should she go? If something has to be sacrificed to save this child's life, what should it be? Strangers? The girl's father? Her kingdom? If you think being a parent is hard, try being the mother of a demigod.

NaNo – Day 7, A Dash of Villain

Since things were going along so well, I thought it was time to introduce some trouble into the mix. My bad guys aren't really evil, (just ask them) they just want other people to do and say things their way. Their goals blind them to everything but selfish needs, and the suffering of those that get in the way may or may not wake them up. I'm thinking not.

The major antagonist thinks his plan is the best way to save the kingdom from ruin at the hands of an incompetent leader. Others would beg to differ, but the antagonist is so sure what he is doing is for the good of the kingdom, that he won't be dissuaded by mere mortals. If only others did what he said, then everything would be happy in his little world. Of course, when he can't get things easily he'll try to control others, including our female protagonist. She is not the type to be controlled, not by the antagonist, and not by others who stand in the way of her goal. So if the antagonist can't go through the female protag, what does he do? An end run. He lies. After all, liars never get found out. Right?

The female antagonist isn't quite as lofty goal-oriented. She is more manipulative, especially when she has an easy victim. The secondary male character means well, he really does, but the boy is in way over his head trying to care for a supposedly orphan child. When the female antagonist offers him a ready solution, he leaps without thinking. There is no going back. He can't undo the wrong he does by listening to the female antagonist, but maybe later on he'll have a chance to redeem himself to the female protagonist. Hopefully before she decides to shish-ka-bob him for stealing her daughter.

Lies, deceptions and misunderstandings. Aren't they great? Of course the complication is to keep everything straight and build the layers so it seems plausible. We pretty much know how the protagonists are going to act – aboveboard, with honor, and for the greater good. Or let's just say, that's how they should act. Rational people do desperate things under pressure. Once the players are aligned, it's time to throw some plot on the fire and turn up the heat.

I love cooking with characters.

NaNo Day 6, - Stupid Character Tricks

For some reason my characters are being monumentally stupid in this go-round. The female protag rashly promises something she really doesn't want to deliver on, thinking she will be able to get herself out of trouble before it actually gets too deep. My male protag is trying to dump the orphan child he found at a temple, but isn't having much luck and not understanding why.

He reminds me of Goldilocks, this temple is too poor, this one is too busy, this one's too crowded. He doesn't want the child, hasn't a clue how to care for a little girl, but something in him won't let him just dump her in the street or at the nearest convenient temple. Sometimes my characters are too damn nice, and I'm tired of it. I went out into the character ghetto and found someone willing to con and cheat my hapless male protag. The boy needs smartening up.

The female protag does not suffer from excess nice. I'm trying to keep her that way. She has an agenda, and everyone is a means to that end. Problem is, she slips up and does some things that might be considered nice. But she told me, "Hey, I can be a nice bitch." Is that possible?

Of course, in the middle of all this, I get an idea for a short story I've been pondering a while. Now is not the time. Luckily, the main character hasn't solidified in my mind yet. All I know is that he is Phoenician, and an engineer. I know what setting I want to put him in, I'll have to see if he takes root there like some ancient potted plant. The other problem will be trying to keep him from crashing my NaNo novel. My characters all seem a bit impatient, never content to wait their turn until I can tell their story. They want to be number one in my affections. All I can conclude is that characters are a lot like little kids. It's all about ME.

NaNo, Day 5 – The Neverending Argument

Most of today's writing was taken up by some bickering between the female protagonist and the god that is the father of her child. It didn't start out to be an argument, but it sure ended up that way. The protagonist's father even appeared to try and convince her not to be pissing off the gods, but the protag is a bit stubborn. She'll move heaven and hell to retrieve her missing daughter, gods be damned.

Of course when the protag's father made an appearance, I had to scramble for a name for him. I have this thing about names, I can't just shove Bob in as a placeholder and move on, I have to have a right name or I can't move forward. It bogged me down for a while while I delved into Google and did some quick research. I allowed myself 10 minutes. I found a name with a good sound- nothing competing with the main characters – and a good meaning. I put it in place, ignoring the unease that comes from not being anal retentive about my name research. Yes, Bob the Internal Editor is alive and well and standing in my kitchen, drinking my coffee.

Soundtracks I'm working to: All three LOTR soundtracks compiled into one big playlist, The Keeper soundtrack (Nice Persian overtones), Gladiator soundtrack, Last of the Mohicans soundtrack, Navan (Gaelic a capella group), The Orange Tree (French Canadian tunes), Dean Martin's Greatest Hits, ('cause I'm .5 Italian), Blackhawk Down soundtrack, Bruce Cockburn 'Speechless' (kick butt guitar instrumentals). As you may notice, not much there with vocals. I've listened to Dean Martin so much I can tune him out, and Navan is in Gaelic, where I only know a few words, so I'm safe. I try and pick the soundtrack to go with the scene. LOTR seems to go well with a lot of scenes, but sometimes I find myself visualizing the scene from LOTR that the music was from. That tells me I need to stop watching those movies so much, and find some other soundtracks.

What music do you work to, if any?

NaNo – Day 4, When Characters Take Over

I think my internal editor went out for coffee and hasn't returned yet. I managed to amass 3349 words tonight in one fell swoop. And I feel like I can go onward. The strange thing was I could see the scene in my head and just wrote it as fast as I could. I heard Bob the Editor echoing in my head, "Needs to be cut", which is true, but at last now I know how the male protagonist managed to make his way to the big city, small child in tow.

My goal was to get them to the city in tonight's writing. I got them to the city, settled in an Inn, and off to the public baths before I needed a breather. For conflict there is the magical child stealing food in a city that frowns heavily on overt displays of magic. My protagonist doesn't want to land in jail, get tossed from his guild, or drop the child down a sewer, so he is a bit tense right now. Good place to leave him.

I'll be switching back to the female protagonist. Or maybe inserting a bit of the villain's POV. The liberating thing here is that I can always drop it later, but I'll know what the villain did and said. The scary part is writing later on and thinking I told something, when I actually had to cut it. Should be interesting to pull it all together in another draft after this.

Of course, while all this is going on, my poetry suffers. My output the past three weeks has been miniscule. Of course, since I have submissions out, I go into a small hibernation mode until I either hear something, or can dump the submissions from my mind. To counter the submissions lethargy, I gave myself assignments. Then the other day, a few more calls for submissions fell out of the sky that seem tailor made for a couple of poems I've been revising. Maybe I just work better under pressure. The only time my word output was as much as this was when I was writing 40 page papers for grad school. But in those, I actually had to make sense...

NaNo – Day 3, Rambling Along

I switched to the second protagonist's POV and wrote his story for a while. There is a great deal in what I wrote that Bob The Editor kept screaming at me to cut. I managed to get him to shut up in shock when I told him I agreed, but cutting would come sometime after November 30th. Even amongst all the drivel, once in a while I get a line or paragraph that impresses me. It says what I want to say with neatness and efficiency, it captures the essence of the character and has proper grammar and spelling. Of course 60 words out of 2500 isn't much, but I'll take it.

My outline is broken down by chapters, but I'm finding that it's easier to treat each day of the month as a chapter and just write to the point of no return. I had two logical stopping points in today's writing, ignored them both and went on. I'm becoming more aware of making little cliffhanger endings for the chapters. I don't need something overt, or action oriented, small psychological turning points make me happy too.

I'm finding I know my female protagonist's motives, but I'm having a hard time showing them on paper in this quick write through. Kadi needs to be needed, and finding a way to show that neediness without having her delve into being pathetic is tough. She's a strong woman, she just doesn't know it yet. I find myself impatient with her character at times. I just hope she'll reveal more of herself as time goes on, and allow me to help her.

The good thing about this style of writing is that I can wave at the plot holes as they pass by, mark them and keep going. But it's real tempting to spend part of the next day's writing going back through what I wrote and tinkering. Just a bit. I'm trying to circumvent that by sticking to the outline and only writing what comes next. I'm not sure how long I can hold out against the overwhelming urge to edit. Bob is very persuasive. But he's also easily distracted by large doses of caffeine.

NaNo - Day 2, Death Becomes Him

I think I will name my internal editor "Bob". Bob needs to die. Bob harped at me all evening and delayed my writing. Instead of specific criticisms, I got the continually whispered, "It's crap, it's all crap, everything you're writing is crap".

Well, duh.

Despite the negative encouragement from Bob, I hammered out around 1700 words tonight. That's a good scene length for me (and convieniently just what I need to stay on track with NaNo.). I know I can go back later, after this madness is over and expand that into 2500 words if need be. I have very little description of settings or people. It's mostly dialogue. Hey, I like to talk, okay?

I'm still sticking to my outline. In this scene the protagonist finds out the man who wants to help her may not be telling her the full truth about the disappearance of her daughter. That was pretty much all the outline I had for this scene and it worked well as a rough guide. The antagonist isn't really evil, he just wants things his own way. Kind of like Bob.

In tomorrow's scene I switch POV to the other protagonist and his trials and tribulations. I found the switch in POV helps me gear up and write faster. Maybe I just get tired of the one protagonist and want to play in someone else's head for a while. Maybe my characters have split personalities. Or maybe letting the ADD come out during NaNo is a GOOD thing.

NaNo Day 1 - Blastoff! Let The Game Begin.

After three jargon-filled and l-o-n-g days in training I managed to get home tonight in time to bash out my word count for the first day of NaNoWriMo. I debated pulling out my laptop in the car- I wasn't driving- but I didn't think the people I was traveling with would appreciate it much. After all that intensive training everyone was ready to explode at the slightest provocation. A four hour drive to think on starting my NaNo book. It must have helped, because I hit the door, plugged in the laptop and took off. Maybe I should drive across the state more often when I need thinking time...

Nah. I'll just stay home for the next month. (There were enough dead bunnies on the trip to give credence to the idea that Wyoming has fur-lined roads.)

I think the outlining I did the first two weeks of October helped a great deal. I knew what I had to write to get started. No agonizing over the first sentence, first paragraph, opening hook, etc. I just plunged in and wrote about my character and the terrible thing she found out. My internal editor was screaming that I wasn't starting in the proper place, that there was too much backstory in that paragraph, and when the heck was I going to describe the palace grounds?

It was really tough to ignore the little whiny voice and continue on. I did stop to look up a title on the 'Net, but only allowed myself to check 3 pages for relative accuracy. I also wrote some clunky dialogue, but didn't go back and fix it. It will eat at me, I know it, but I plan to battle Mr. Internal and win. My fear is that he gave up way too easily tonight. Then again, closing my eyes, sticking my fingers in my ears, and chanting "la, la, la, la, I can't hear you, la, la, la" may have been what really worked.

I did get the word counter up and running on the sidebar. Inspiration or implement of torture? I haven't decided yet.