PlaceHolders

Busy.
Here's some pics of the awesome twosome (plus one) to keep you occupied until I return.

No, I insist.

You're welcome.

Max: I think, therefore, is it supper time yet?



Merlin, who is still waiting to grow into his headgear, executes a long down, radar ears swiveled for the stealthy sound of a treat leaving a pocket...


Anubis: I ignore in your general direction. Wake me when it's time to eat.


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Corgipalooza!

For those of you that complained that April was Corgi-Lite, here you go.

We want to play ball . . . Now!

On your mark . . .

Get set!

Go!


Using Corgi Mind Tricks: Pick up the ball. Throw the ball.



Corgi Mind Tricks 2: I wonder when she's going to throw the-Hey, look, a bird!


And over there, another bird!



Is that the UPS man up the street?


No, it's not the UPS man, and I have the ball, bro. Pay Attention!



I'm sure if I just wink at her, she'll give me the ball.



You use your cute, I'll use mine . . .



Okay, okay, we'll double dose her with cute. That ought to be good for another 20 minutes of fetch the wild tennis ball.

Destruction As An Art Form

I bet you thought this post was going to be about art, poetics, the nature of the universe, or something ramblingly philosophical like that.

It's not. It's about Corgis. One who shall remain nameless pointed out I've been sadly remiss in the general worship of my four-legged companions, and I was about to get my Corgi Adoration card revoked. I grabbed my camera, but the guys were too busy engaging in some passive-aggressive destruction to do any posing. Preoccupation, thy name be Cow Ear.

Max, attempting to subdue an ear bigger than his head.

Cartilage-y, chewy, and apparently oh-so-entrancing, I buy them by the dozens. The Corgis obligingly destroy them as quick as possible, saving me the need to step on slimy-sharp bovine parts too often, and keeping me indebted to the UPS man who delivers the ears to our door. Regularly.

Merlin, taking the safe approach and gnawing around the perimeter

I tell myself it keeps their teeth clean, but that's only part of the reason. Who could resist the expression of bliss on the face of a Corgi with a brand new chewy ear? Max and Merlin carry them about like kittens, trade and steal them from each other, and occasionally bury them beneath the couch cushions, not to be found for months. Forget rubber toys, hooves, tennis balls, rawhide or ropes - dried up, dessicated cow ears are the pacifier of choice for the canine set at my house.

Max, really getting into his work

Anubis D.Cat, on the other hand, thinks a crinkled up page of my novel is the best play toy Evah. Who am I to actually finish the last three chapters and deprive him of his fun? That's my story in its wadded up, batted around the house, cat-slobbered, just before the dog ate it glory, and I'm sticking to it.

Anubis, on observing the chew-a-thon: "I gave up a spot on LOL Cats for this?"

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Max & Merlin: What We Did On Our Christmas Vacation

Eat. Sleep. Play.

Max: Oh, you wanted more than that? Okay, here's the scoop. Our sister Emmy, and cousin Maggie came to stay with us for a few days while their humans went vacationing without them! I reassured my sis and cuz that they would have loads more fun at my house than stuck in the back seat of a pickup truck for hours and hours.

Just think - Four Corgis against one human - the one human who can open the giant magic food box, where she hides the turkey and treats. Four Corgis with the awesome power of cuteness should have no problem mind controlling a mere mortal.

L to R - Emmy, Max, Merlin, Maggie

(Open the magic kitchen box. You know you want to. Give us treats. Give us turkey. For doG's sake, just FEED us! We're starved...)

When we weren't eating and sleeping, we were playing. I introduced my cousin to Snow Ball. The object is to get the human to throw the half deflated basketball out in the yard, where I will retrieve it while trying to ignore my annoying yappy brother Merlin. Maggie didn't quite get the rules. It's MY ball, therefore I always get it. Silly girl.

















For some reason Maggie thought she could rewrite the rules of SnowBall, and tried to convince my brother Merlin to play her way. They argued a while...


















Then Emmy decided that she's rather be inside where it was warm. How strange...



















Using Corgi mind powers, she convinced Maggie that an inch of snow on the end of your snout was a bad thing...



















So we all went inside and practiced telepathically linked Corgi Mind Tricks on the human.
(You will give us many treats, and drop some of that turkey on the floor...)


















After using our incredible Corgi powers, we were tired and took many naps, then spent the rest of our time going in and out and in and out the dog door until the human began chanting "Make up your minds already" over and over again. We'll need to work on retraining her to appreciate our rampant indecisiveness. It's a gift, really.

Emmy got a little homesick for her people.


















Apparently her humans spoil her a lot more than my human spoils us. We had some talks on how to train our humans to better serve us. Emmy also taught us the Zombie Corgi Treat Stare. I'm happy to report it works like a charm, many homemade treats were forthcoming after we combined the Zombie Stare with the Corgi Mind Trick.
























All in all it was a good Christmas vacation. We ate lots of food, tracked lots of muddy paw prints on the kitchen floor, and managed to destroy at least four chewies, destuff two toys and give them a squeakerectomy, and let the human know through various expulsions of gases that the food was pretty tasty. I do have some work to do with my brother, though. Merlin still thinks a cute smile is all he needs to get by.

























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A Corgi Guide to Cold Weather

Saturday it was a frigid -34 (with the wind chill). Sunday it climbed up to -19, and Monday it warmed right up to -7. My back porch door looked like something out of the movie The Day After Tomorrow, when the ice creeps down the building and frosts everything it touches. I had to point a space heater at the dog door to keep it unthawed enough for use.

The longest either furball stayed out on Saturday was 6 minutes, by Monday they were sitting on the top step of the back porch and basking in the sun, -7 notwithstanding. Of course afterward they would come in the house and want to shove their frozen noses into my hands. I thought about putting the nylon and velcro booties on their feet, but when I pulled the footwear out of the drawer, both dogs mysteriously vanished. Since when are warm feet unfashionable? Apparently, for a Corgi, cracked pads are a risk they are willing to take over the embarassment of sporting red and blue booties. ("All the neighbor dogs will laugh at us!")

Maybe I'll tune in Animal Planet and show them how sled dogs wear their booties with nary a long-suffering look. Or mention how cold, icy feet are really not welcome on my bed.

Like the Corgis are going to believe that.

After a few minutes of tearing about the frozen yard, barking up a storm with the neighbor dogs - 2 schnauzers, a pomeranian, a min pin, two West Highland Terriers, a husky, and two labs, one black one gold (Yes, we like dogs in this neighborhood, that's five yards, 11 dogs...) Max and Merlin decided they had worked enough and it was down time.

Here is Max in Corgi Power Nap Mode™.

Going...

Going...

Gone



















And Merlin? Wallowing in toys and chewies.

"Mine, all mine I tell you! All the hedgies belong to me!"

*Insert world-dominating cackle*




















... "uh, at least until Max wakes up..."


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Why Yes, I Am Writing, Why Do You Ask??

Busy -actually still writing my Poem A Day, editing the Novel From Hell, reading slush for EDP , and contemplating a Return to the PhD program. Yes I'm still keeping up on Poem A Day. No, you can't see any poems yet. Yes, the Novel From Hell actually has Hell creatures in it. No, my Slush Ninja sword is not getting dull. Submit more poems. Yes, I am insane to contemplate adding PhD work my life at this time - I don't think even ADHD would save me, but hey, what's writing more papers and a dissertation in the grand scheme of my hyperactive universe? Then again, I'm never too busy to pass up YouTube goodies. Here's something to keep you entertained while I work my way to a more interesting and coherent future post, one containing goldfish.

Dedicated to Anonymous.

How To Talk Like A Corgi

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Corgi Thursday!

Because my brother's week would not be complete without pictures of Max and Merlin...

Max

Proof that Corgis can fly!




Merlin
Why yes, as a matter of fact, these are MY toys...



and the honorary dog, Anubis"You will bring me a small, unmarked tuna..."

Gratuitous Corgi XMas Pics with Bonus Cat Non-Action Figure

Here at the Corgi Ranch, we polled the pets about XMas. Their unedited responses are below.

UPDATE: Max and Merlin have not one, but TWO pictures (March and September) in the 2008 MyCorgi.com Calendar
Their response?
Max: "It should have been 12 pictures of me, but whaddareya going to do? Humans. Can't live without them, but you can con them out of treats."
Merlin: "Some of those Corgi babes are hot!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Christmas.

Maximus:
"Who wouldn't want a soggy hedgehog for Christmas? Pre-chewed presents are the best kind!"

Merlin:

"All I want for Christmas is my two front pupils. And cow ear chewies, lots and lots of them. And my own hedgehog. And a starring role in the next 'It Came From Outer Space' SciFi Movie of the Week. Oh, and a pony. Just for me. Not for my brother."

Anubis:

"What is this "Christmas" you speak of? If it's not a day for cat worship, I don't want to be bothered. Wake me when it's over. Oh, bring my dinner and make it snappy."

Gratuitous Corgi Pics

Leaves on the ground, dead things to roll in. Leaves to run through, piles of leaves to scatter, select leaves to munch on. Fall. It's a lip-smacking, nose-licking good season.

We've got a lot to grin about. We're outside, playing fetch with a brand-spankin' new tennis ball, We peed on every tree in the yard, chased the cat-dog, and we know the Human Slave has biscuits in her pocket and will dispense them at the drop of a Corgi Smile ™. It's good to be the doG!

Corgis. An explosion of Cute in every fur ball.