16 July 2007

Gnome Hunters

The Corgis were online reading blogs (who knew?) when they happened to scent the Procrastination Gnome™ hanging around Scott Oden. Being sympathetic beasties, and companions to faerie folk, they did what any red-blooded, short-legged dog would do.


They went outside for a rousing game of "Fetch".
.

Despite Maximus' "Point Me At 'Em" stance, one flip of the tennis ball changed his priorities. After all, chase and retrieval demands skill and concentration, the kind that hones abilities for Gnome hunting. Afterwards, the Corgi Brothers came in the house for a biscuit and a nap. Then another nap. They'll get on that Procrastination Gnome™ hunting right after supper. Well, maybe after another game of fetch, and another nap. You can't rush these things you know.

I'm also afraid I insisted the Corgis hunt down the Procrastination Gnome™ living in my own home before helping others. I suspect he has been holding late night brainstorming sessions with the Plot Gerbil™, because the wheels were spinning wildly, hence the three half-completed short stories I'm jumping between. One is set in 483BC, another in an urban fanasy world I never want to visit, and the third on some alternative plane of existence - but only if you hold your breath.

Luckily, just the 483BC story allowed the Research Gnome™, (cute but insidious little brother of the Procrastination Gnome™) to get his ink stained mitts on me. I successfully kept him away from my Amazon account (One Click was invented by a Gnome) and actually got the story half written before he pulled the alternative plane of existence idea out of.... an orifice.

My Ending Gnome™ is vacationing in parts unknown, so I'm forging ahead without her. If successful, Gnomes everywhere will cower in fear at the thought of writers doing something without them. As long as no one finds out where I hid the Muse, I think it will be okay.

If not, maybe I can distract everyone with a game of Fetch the Plot.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think they are Corgis.....from the amount of time they are featured online I would call them "publicity hounds"......

Scott Oden said...

I don't know . . . I think I might be afflicted by a creature even worse than a Procrastination Gnome -- even worse than the dreaded OrcGnome: a Troll of Sloth! Whatever it is, it has fluffed the pillows on my couch and left appealing snacks right next to the TV remote. I think it's also embarked on an insidious program of whispering off-the-wall topics in my ear at night, which then compels me to spend my day Googling for no good reason (Google was invented by a Sloth Troll).

How are the Corgis against Trolls?

Constance said...

That was low, Bro...

No puppy for you!

Constance said...

Um, Scott, hate to break it to you. Corgis don't do trolls. Not without a stepladder.

Have you tried playing overly perky New Age music to disrupt the whispering? A little light chanting? ("Must write! Must write!") Hiding the remote batteries?

BTW, the Sloth Troll bred with the Research Gnome. The result? Google Book Search...

Gabriele C. said...

Gnomes, sloth trolls, corgies that look so cute you can be sure they brew mischief .... now I'm really afraid what my sheep are up to.

Fetch the plot sounds fun. Dealing with Too Damn Many characters sounds even more fun. ;) No wonder the Procrastination Gnome and the Research Gnome feel at home in my living room.

Oh, and if you think Plot Gerbils are bad, try Demon Plot Squirrels.

Constance said...

Gabriele, do you have Rewrite Sheep? Or some other version? :)

You scared me with the pic of the Demon Plot Squirrel. I have garlic and crosses hung around my house to keep them away now.

Carla said...

The Gnome Hunters would make a great story. Or even a novel.

Constance said...

*Sticks fingers in her ears, runs in circles and chants "La,la,la, la, I can't hear you!"*

Carla, are you trying to unleash a Plot Gerbil?? Stop it!

...deb said...

Ok! I found them, gorgeous little beasties.

That's the only trouble with PT...I don't often linger at folks blogs to take in the entire terrain...I'm scootin' to the next person's poem.

Look what I've missed. Cheers to poetry and corgis!

Constance said...

deb, I know the feeling, so many poems, so little time to look around...